Life

And she died. Like that? Yes, like that. But with words of grief in her chest. The words that tried to scream out loud in pitch dark silence. In her, she had a lot to talk about but none to listen. Her own thoughts killed her. Actually brutally murdered her- left no chance for her to survive. She always used to be silent. Not really fond of talking to people. She was an introvert. But once she found a friend she would never leave them. Sad that they never thought that same way. They always thought she being a shy person was desperate for friendship and hence misused her. Well, not all, a few miserable creatures of her school. She would always lend her ears to all her friends. In her she contained secrets worth gazillion sacrifices. But she never found her own, real, true friend. The one whom she could show her fun, cozy and slightly lazy side. She used to look for that one friend. Failing in which meant failure in life too.

Why do they always blame the girl for the broken relationship? Films always portray the boy drunken after the breakup solely dealing with it. Why? Is the girl that heartless or everyone else entirely blind? Why don't they ever ask, if the girl was happy with the relationship then why did she leave at the first place? Why can't they bloody see or just gulp down the fact that it always takes two hands to clap? Of course then that means she wasn't happy at all. She was tired of pretending. She wanted her own life, she wanted to breathe out. May be she felt jammed inside. It's her life and she decides. If you are dumb enough to not get that, then you are at fault. Stop blaming the girl. Why can't you just keep your male ego aside, sit and think about what wrong you did that compelled her to leave. It's always easy transferring faults or pointing fingers at others but it's way more difficult to stand in front of the mirror, trying to answer all the 'why...

All she ever wanted was that hug to last a little longer. She wanted to embrace his warmth and absorb his scent in. She yearned to seep in his breath and swing to the beats of his heart. Her love for him was something different. It was not physical. It was something else, it was the undeniable mental connection that they shared. It was the freedom that she felt with him. That sense of freedom was her definition of love. It was the laughter she laughed with him. It was that shine in her eyes when she saw him. Now, she missed him. Missed those endless kisses, prolonged hugs, sweet whispers and the dirty signs midst people with raised eyebrows. She missed his making-no-sense-at-all one liners and giggled like idiots. With all their happy times in heart, she wondered, does he ever feel it when she thinks about him.

She lay seemingly lifeless soaking herself in his memories. Her thoughts having no match with the songs booming in her ears. Inside she smiled thinking about her moments of yesterday with him. His face, eyes, smile and scent got her hallucinated. She had always wanted to walk out of relationships. She hated them- never gave them a chance. When he said he loved her, she never believed. Probably he loved her truly but failed to express and each time she got reasons to walk away. Though it hurts her seeing him hurt but she never tries on her behalf to break the ice. She misses him but restrains herself with the thought, will he ever forgive her for what she did to him. Probably not. Deep inside this thought killed her. Why wouldn't it, she had murdered him while he was still breathing. She had zombified him. She was responsible for all the issues going on in his life. Well not all, only the ones involving zero mental peace. Yes, she was selfish. She wanted to fly away far off...